“My husband said that he could not have known what HE could do without our doula's help. She showed him how to advocate for me, what was hospital policy simply because of liability, and how to navigate the "system"- in short, she rescued us from the feeling of being 'tossed around' by the mysterious rules of a big, scary hospital at one of the most emotionally fragile and potentially beautiful times in our lives”. – Aviva

For Fathers

Dads and Doulas: Key Players on Mother's Labor Support Team

Today, a father's participation in birth preparation classes or his presence at prenatal visits and in the delivery suite is a familiar occurrence. Yet, we sometimes forget that the expectations of his role as a "labor coach" may be difficult to fulfill.

The father-to-be is expected among other things to become familiar with the process and language of birth, to understand medical procedures and hospital protocols and advocate for his partner in an environment and culture he is usually unfamiliar with. A doula can provide the information to help parents make appropriate decisions and facilitate communication between the laboring
woman, her partner and medical care providers.

At times a father may not understand a woman's instinctive behavior during childbirth and may react anxiously to what a doula knows to be the normal process of birth. He may witness his partner in pain and understandably become distressed. The doula can be reassuring and skillfully help the mother to cope with labor pain in her unique way. The father-to-be may need to accompany his partner during surgery should a cesarean becomes necessary. Not all fathers can realistically be expected to "coach" at this intense level.

Many fathers are eager to be involved during labor and birth. Others, no less loving or committed to their partner's well being find it difficult to navigate in uncharted waters. With a doula, a father can share in the birth at a level he feels most comfortable with.   If the father wants to provide physical comfort such as back massage, change of positions, and help his partner to stay focused during contractions, the doula can provide guidance and make suggestions for what may work best.

The father's presence and loving support in childbirth is comforting and reassuring.  The love he shares with the mother and his child, his needs to nurture and protect his family are priceless gifts that only he can provide. With her partner and a doula at the birth, a mother can have the best of both worlds: her partner's loving care and attention and the doula's expertise and guidance in childbirth.